Kids & TV: Do they go well together?

TV viewing for kids seems to be a harmless combination. There's an influx of children oriented shows that makes TV shows inciting for the children. In my parenting subject for my graduate degree, I was surprised to learn how TV viewing is not recommended for children below the age of 2! What??? How can it be harmful? What about Barney, Sesame Street and Blues Clues? Then there's the stand of American Academy of Pediatrics about it, which I was not so keen about then. Having my own son made me have a different stance on it. Migo's pedia highly recommended my son not to be exposed to TV, upon observing how my son is growing to be an active toddler. I started then reading again on the AAP's position on media and TV viewing. What was explained in class then still holds true and more relevant now. That, children below 2 years old should not be exposed to TV. Others give me a questioning look upon hearing this. My dad even lets my son watch cartoons, 'cause in others' eyes, "it's cartoons!" How can I explain to them its effect on the sensory-motor development of children? I have to gently tell my dad, that not all cartoons are for kids, Tom & Jerry included!

Me and my husband discussed what we read, the pedia's recommendation and how would we do it with my son. We decided that we need to be involved in choosing TV shows for our kids. So how did we manage not to develop the TV watching habit with my son and now with my daughter?

Choose the right videos. Since Migo was an infant, and until now that he's almost 4years old, we just limit him to chosen videos. Video viewing then is limited to 2 hours per day (not per viewing). Videos like Barney, Dora, Diego, Blue's Clues, Winnie the Pooh, Brainy Baby, Bob the Builder are staples in his CD case. Why these? These are cartoons which are learning-oriented, they have the slow pace like that of pre-school reality, and does not have offensive language nor are slap stick humor and does not promote violence . What about movies? Disney Cars and Nemo, are the only movies that do not have violent content on our standards. The others still have fight scenes and all. As for superheroes, Migo knows their names but not their super powers. We tried making him watch Toy Stories, but he does not like the fight scenes, he asked his dad to stop the video. It seems that he cannot process it yet. In watching videos, it is bests if the child is still accompanied by an adult who can process or asks him about what he was seeing on screen. That way, the child is not a passive recipient of the information, but he gets to interact more – that's bonding and learning time fold into one!

Ask the whole family to cooperate. Not being a fan of TV ourselves and not having a cable at home, I and my husband did not have a hard time limiting Migo's media exposure. We have to talk very well to my mom, where my son stayed while we were at work, and explain our objective of not making Migo watch TV. It was not easy at first, as there were lapses here and there. But eventually, since Migo was not exposed much, he prefers to turn off the TV, and just watch "balita" with "lolo and lola" and his video time was his bonding with my dad. Never mind if us adults have memorized the lyrics of Barney's songs. Other than that, either he does not look at the TV or he turns it off when no one's watching.

Set the goal that you have for the kids and the family as well. Our goal is to make his day filled with interaction, develop relationships and for him to fully learn what he can. And it can be done. For me and my husband, we believe that the effect is long term, for the little sacrifice we're putting at this time in our family life. Never mind not being updated with the newest shows showbiz gossips, or latest craze. Not having TV to keep Migo busy in his waking hours, means that we have to be creative in activities that he would have for the day, playing with his toys, reading books, biking in the garage, sweeping the front yard, doodling in his Magic Sketcher, visiting the chicken and turkeys in the nearby vacant lot, car wash day with Dad, craft time with Mom. The list goes on. But what's good about these activities are Migo interacts with adults – the grandparents, us parents, his aunts and the helper. Through this time, he gets to ask questions, and we answer. He gets to explore the world, and we encourage him to take part in the process.

Does the NO TV POLICY in our house worked? We have yet to see the full effect now that Migo is starting school. Though I would like to believe that it has helped him to be how he is now at 3.8 years old. He is observed to be a critical thinker, avid reader, articulate toddler and observant preschooler. Still it's a theory in testing and another child is in line to test it with. But I knew that this would go a long long way. He is not aware of violence or fight scenes or rowdy plays. He would not pick up fights with other children nor use offensive language towards others. It may be contributed to other factors, but I would like to think that our NO TV policy at home would be one factor. We have yet a long way to go and let's see where this would lead. But I am certain that the benefits is greater than the sacrifices.

If I would answer if Kids and TV goes well? For me, it does not and would depend.

The Formula for Successful Breastfeeding

Having two babies and successfully breastfeeding them, I realized that breastfeeding is unlike formula milk that one can fits all. I want to share some personal thoughts about breastfeeding.

I was in MOA one Saturday afternoon to meet my cousin and I used their breastfeeding station to express milk. There I got to chat to two breastfeeding moms. I felt sad upon hearing their outlook on breastfeeding. One wants to wean her baby, as she said "Hindi ako makaalis, gusto sa 'kin lang," and she does not know too how to introduce the bottle to her child, so she thinks that totally weaning her baby is the solution. I asked her who gives the bottle, she said she does, I shared with her how most babies won't take the bottle directly from mommies, wherein they know mommies breast is just around. The other mom I talked with shared that they only go to MOA and SM Manila cause they are the malls near them which have breastfeeding stations, and she cannot leave her baby when going out. I shared a little of what I do. She was surprised to know that I'm fully breastfeeding while working. She was looking for my baby then, and I told her I left the baby at home, and that's the reason why I need to express milk.

Hearing these moms and their circumstances, both of them seem to be really tied to their babies and breastfeeding. I am saddened by what I heard from them. First, it is because that in spite of their wanting to breastfeed, they seem to know little of other options in breastfeeding. If only they can read books, online resources, etc! Another, they seem to be stress with breastfeeding. They appear to find it hard to find personal time and they seem to feel that their babies and breastfeeding are tying them down.

Another mom I know said while pregnant that she wants to exclusively breastfeed her child. I just heard from her mom that she was eventually mixed feeding because her milk is not enough, and she was having a difficult time breastfeeding. She said that she'll wean her baby when she turns 6 months. She wants to stop breastfeeding because it was hard for to express milk at work. The thing is she has all the gadgets you can name for breastfeeding – dual pump, single electric pump, manual pump, breast pads, nursing cover, cooling agents, etc. Even extra pump parts! She said that she researched a lot about breastfeeding and prepared all that she needed for it.

Now I'm looking at those kinds of moms, I came to the realization that some have the heart, but do not have the technical knowledge, that's why they feel their options are limited. These are the usual moms around. I'm surprised to see the other kind of mom who has the knowledge and all the gadgets needed, yet the dedication may not be 100% and so she longs to stop the breastfeeding relationship because it's becoming difficult for her. So more than the milk supply, it is possible, that that the success of breastfeeding a child, no matter what circumstances there is comes with knowledge and dedication. It is combining the heart, the mind and the body. Knowledge might be there, but the dedication would fuel it up.

Heart (Dedication) + Mind (Breastfeeding knowledge) + Body (of course, good milk supply) = Happy Successful Breastfeeding Moms

Is your best school of choice, really the Best for your child?

Working as a counselor handling grade school children, I have come across many cases that made me write my thoughts about this. Now as a mom, and my son entering preschool, of course, I am one of those who feel that I have to give my son the best education. Of course we want what's best for our kids, but the B-E-S-T is subjective. I believe it depends on what we value as the best! Let me share with you some things I consider myself about the best school for our children.

1. Is the mission- vision of the school aligned with your family values? This for me is as important as the school itself. The school's mission and vision is supposed to be their anchor on their programs, activities, formation/development track for the students. There are school with load of activities, because they value extra-curricular equally with academics. Some are into quiz bees, because they gear their students into academic excellence. Other schools require parents to attend parenting programs cause for them, partnership is important. Others complain with the school rules, programs and activities, and then they have to ask themselves if what the school holds important is the same for them!

2. Budget. Whether we want it or not, education comes with a price! But I believe that it is not just with the name of the school, it is also PARENTAL involvement that make the child achieve or happy in school. Many people comment to me if I'm putting my son in the other big boy school near the school where I work. Yes, many people would do everything to get in there. I usually reply, "I would not want to work my butt out just to have him study there. We may afford the fees, but can we afford the lifestyle, the pressure and the add ons? No thanks!" Personally, I have other standards of a good school that our means can afford!

3. Accessibility to both to private and public transport. There may be school buses around if we don't have transport, but what if there's an emergency and the child needs to be fetched in school or something needs to be bought to him right away, how long can I commute there, to and from the house/workplace?

4. LEARNING STYLE & CAPACITY of the CHILD. I consider this very well. The known schools are traditional schools, I work in one. They carry their name and the tradition, there's a system in place and the quality speaks for itself. The thing is, would our child's' learning capacity and learning style would blend in their system? I have to ask myself if my child's ability would be maximized in that school. There are kids made for traditional system, but there are some who may be impeded by the structure. There are other small schools that are non-traditional but some kids bloom there well. As a parent, I am starting to be keen in observing what would work well for my child.

5. School's Curriculum, Values, Standard of Teaching, Faculty. This one is the meat of the school, yet schools approach this differently. The big schools have unquestionable curriculum. But do they offer holistic development - like non-academic programs that is needed by kids nowadays. Do they have a good support system for parents and students in case your child encounters different problems? How hands on, competent or caring are the teachers?

6. Who's behind the school? Consider also of the people who owns/ run the school. If non-sectarian (meaning privately owned), ask for feedback about the qualifications of the owner. Are they educators by profession or business persons? Those different areas, has a great impact on the school. You'll understand why some school charge for even the littlest thing cause if the private people see it s business, all the expenses are padded, excuse me for that, but that's often the mind set. Some, though not all, make the school as their business without the proper background on education. Sad to say, you'll feel the quality of their service. In my observation, if the owner is an educator by profession, mostly, they have a heart for teaching/education and they have the competency for it. Then quality is tested, service is with a heart, and they were able to justify the fees. If the school is sectarian, meaning owned by the diocese, priests, nuns, lay people, organizations - chances are their mission/vocation is educating children in their philosophy. You pay them and the money goes to their apostolate, congregation or other missions. Their name is usually their seal of good standards.

To end, I did my homework in looking for my son's school for June. I checked it based on our family values. We also took into account my child's learning style and his need for structure. Facilities are bonus for us, yet we want our child to learn and enjoy at the same time and have fond memories of preschool. For us, the school would be the instrument in our child's development, the rest is up to us. Like in my formula:

The CHILD + PARENT's support & guidance = Child's success in school

What about you, what do you consider as the BEST choosing your child's school?

Mineral Makeup... a mom's magic look naturally beautiful!

I'm one of those majorities of women who shun away make up. It's not that I don't like it, but sad to say, I have sensitive-pimple-acne prone skin. Yes I have fair skin, and have nice legs that my hubby gushes over. But I feel that my legs are more flawless than my face, lol! In spite of facials, derma treatments, I accepted my fate about my skin, and that make up gives me more zits!!! Not only is my facial skin so sensitive, but my lips is often choppy! I can't find a good lipstick to give it enough moisture... Oh, I was given a good brand that my lips like most - a costly US hypoallergenic brand! Oh, something I would love to have but won't buy! The practical (or 'kuripot') side in me would not prioritize such costs of this make up brand.

Lo and behold! I found an answer to my search for something to color my face! Mineral Make Up, particularly Ellana Minerals. I was able to try to try it for Mom's Today Mommy Power Event. I was able to ask about the product and have a dose of their complete product range: foundations, blush, multipurpose powders, and lip tints. To top it all, the brushes are divine. My judgement - no itch or breakout after wearing it for more than half day! That's a milestone for me!

Aside from what we already know about mineral makeup - like being all natural and made of pigments not harmful to the skin, I like 3 things about Ellana Minerals. First, it is made by a Filipina to suit Pinay skin and our Pinoy weather. Second, Ellana is readily available online or through resellers. And finally, it’s budget-friendly! Makes moms like me less guilty for spending for myself and paying little for vanity!

So what does makeup do for me? Not that I am a makeup junkie.
Being a fulltime working mom, I like it that makeup gives color and life to my everyday look. While I'm pregnant, it gives me a healthy glow, in spite of the preggy hormones wearing me out! I don't have to worry about the chemicals in makeup penetrating my skin and my placenta. Now at 6 months postpartum, juggling 2 kids, exclusively breastfeeding my infant and keeping a fulltime work, it gives my esteem a boost when I hear others' comments. Something like, "Buti nagagawa mo pa mag-makeup kahit 2 na anak mo." (Good that you can still put makeup on in spite of having 2 kids). Since I'm a lactating mom too, I don't have to worry of chemicals affecting my breastmilk. During weekends, after prepping up the kids, the going-out stuff and settling the home, I ask my husband to give me a few minutes so I can brush up some colors to my face. Yes, I do put some light makeup - foundation, a blush and a lip tint so as I won't look harassed or worn out. Did I mention that we are hands on with our kids and we don't have yayas for them? Oh, and I like make up cause my husband likes seeing my natural look, and I get compliments from him (wink!).

That's why I like using natural make up or mineral makeup. It makes me look neat, feel confident about myself, and it naturally brings out my inner joy of being a woman and a fulfilled mom!

Isn't that a little price to pay for a feel-good, look-good mom?

Why Handy Mommy?

Handy Mommy could be any other woman like me! It is a given that motherhood is a 24/7 job! No day offs, no vacations, no even leaves and all. To add, life calls for so much demands on a mom - as a wife, a mother to her kids, managing the household, a career/professional life, are just some of important areas that moms have to balance. Being on my 4th year journey to motherhood, I came to many realizations and 'eureka' moments about the joys and challenges of being a mom, a hands-on-mom in particular. The books, hand me down infos, and degree in graduate school are all just supplements in handling the challenges it brings.

Thus, I'm giving life to Handy Mommy. Handy Mommy hopes to help moms and moms-to-be, even dads as well, to gain practical, affordable help in making herself well - in mind, body and spirit. Her sense of fulfillment must come internally and not on other people and things around. If mom is a happy and fulfilled person, then the kids and the family is well too.

As Oscar Wilde said "The best way to make children good is make them happy." I believe that for children to be happy, moms should be happy, recharged and find a balance between enriching herself, the kids, her hubby/partner, the home and other things important for her.

It may be easier said than done. But who said motherhood is easy? That's why Handy Mommy is here...

Thoughts during my pregnancy: My Baby and My Body

Written on March 2009

My baby and body... I see them as 2 different entities. As of my ultrasound last Saturday (Feb. 28), my baby is doing well and has a heartbeat of 163/min at 8 weeks gestational age. The doctor also did not note any hemorrhage inside my womb that may be a cause for bleeding. It was a relief knowing that! Thank God! Thus, we are assured of how our little one is. And I know that like Kuya Migo, our baby is a fighter. We're claiming a normal healthy baby and very good development for "her."

But my body is another story. While my baby is doing well, I feel that my body's a weakling! I am one of the statistics that gets really super hyper extra sensitive when pregnant. My pregnancy hormones are shooting high up. There's my nausea, the vomiting (am, noon, pm), the hyperacidity, the hunger pangs every 2 hours, the itch/infections, dizziness/ headache, the unexplained spotting, and the ever present pain in the abdomen that are possible heaviness/contractions (w/c are no nos!). Need I say more? It does not make me any normal having these. It drags me into each day hoping that things would be normal for me. It burdens me physically and emotionally. Yes, I keep giving myself pep talks on counting my blessing and looking at the bright side that I am carrying life inside me... Oh well, it does not work, it does not ease my discomforts, it does not stop my vomiting bouts.

Whatever happens, I have to give credit to myself in undergoing all these for the 4th time. It strains me emotionally. In my words, "I am emotionally tired from pregnancy difficulties!" Although I am emotionally ready to be a mom again, carrying the little one is another story for me. My husband, Koots and I told ourselves, that this would be our final try. It is not a normal life! And I must honor him for being the ever supportive husband. He makes sure that my needs are met and attends to everything in the house, while I lie down and rest. It was such a big help to ease me through each day.

Above my body, the baby is what all is about. Our desire for another child, like Kuya Migo, is greater than what we know would be the odds of pregnancy. And so we prayed and willed this to happen. And so we're praying hard for this little one to be healthy, easy, and normal and a pretty baby girl. Maia will be her name!

I don't know what would happen in the days to come. It may be easy, it may be harder. I'm just taking one day at a time, and praying that God would embrace my body and take care of my baby!