Thoughts during my pregnancy: My Baby and My Body

Written on March 2009

My baby and body... I see them as 2 different entities. As of my ultrasound last Saturday (Feb. 28), my baby is doing well and has a heartbeat of 163/min at 8 weeks gestational age. The doctor also did not note any hemorrhage inside my womb that may be a cause for bleeding. It was a relief knowing that! Thank God! Thus, we are assured of how our little one is. And I know that like Kuya Migo, our baby is a fighter. We're claiming a normal healthy baby and very good development for "her."

But my body is another story. While my baby is doing well, I feel that my body's a weakling! I am one of the statistics that gets really super hyper extra sensitive when pregnant. My pregnancy hormones are shooting high up. There's my nausea, the vomiting (am, noon, pm), the hyperacidity, the hunger pangs every 2 hours, the itch/infections, dizziness/ headache, the unexplained spotting, and the ever present pain in the abdomen that are possible heaviness/contractions (w/c are no nos!). Need I say more? It does not make me any normal having these. It drags me into each day hoping that things would be normal for me. It burdens me physically and emotionally. Yes, I keep giving myself pep talks on counting my blessing and looking at the bright side that I am carrying life inside me... Oh well, it does not work, it does not ease my discomforts, it does not stop my vomiting bouts.

Whatever happens, I have to give credit to myself in undergoing all these for the 4th time. It strains me emotionally. In my words, "I am emotionally tired from pregnancy difficulties!" Although I am emotionally ready to be a mom again, carrying the little one is another story for me. My husband, Koots and I told ourselves, that this would be our final try. It is not a normal life! And I must honor him for being the ever supportive husband. He makes sure that my needs are met and attends to everything in the house, while I lie down and rest. It was such a big help to ease me through each day.

Above my body, the baby is what all is about. Our desire for another child, like Kuya Migo, is greater than what we know would be the odds of pregnancy. And so we prayed and willed this to happen. And so we're praying hard for this little one to be healthy, easy, and normal and a pretty baby girl. Maia will be her name!

I don't know what would happen in the days to come. It may be easy, it may be harder. I'm just taking one day at a time, and praying that God would embrace my body and take care of my baby!